It seems that assimilating into Brisbane life has proven far more difficult than I originally anticipated. There have been many moments of personal crisis, crying, feelings of loneliness, confusion and outright despair. A lot of dwelling on the past and obsession with the future, not near enough living in the NOW.
Last Thursday was a watershed moment for me when my thoughts all started to pile on top of what is already a hectic white noise in my mind, to the point where I just could not focus on any one thought. It became distressing and eventually I had to let it out some how. As I was on the verge of tears, very bravely holding back as much as possible as I was at work, I had a thought. A friend of a friend had mentioned a few weeks ago that she had been to a wonderful masseuse and that I should go. For some reason in this moment of crisis this thought came to me and I fished out the number of a lady named “Barb”. After speaking with Barb for some time she had determined what treatment I needed and had arranged my appointment for 3pm that day.
At that moment I didn’t know what to expect, but I knew I just had to do something, anything, to rid myself of this turmoil. So in desperation I delved into the unknown.
The following entries will tell of the journey I am about to embark on. This is a different journey to the ones I have had previously on a physical level. It is a journey into myself, and yes, into the unknown. It is exciting and scary at the same time.
I feel as though I am standing at a point in a road where the dirt becomes paved.