Tuesday, 31 August 2010
9:16am - Spring is just around the corner...
I have very basic humour so I found this hilarious, and cute.
Monday, 30 August 2010
Hangover Cure
It's taken me a while (11 or so years) to establish the best hangover cure EVER.
It's the very LAST thing you feel like doing when you're trying to claw your way out of a gin coma, but it works:
EXERCISE.
Sorry to say it, but that shit really works a treat.
Well, that and a lethal concoction of extra strength aspro, beroca and Black Doctor (coke a cola) spider....
It's the very LAST thing you feel like doing when you're trying to claw your way out of a gin coma, but it works:
EXERCISE.
Sorry to say it, but that shit really works a treat.
Well, that and a lethal concoction of extra strength aspro, beroca and Black Doctor (coke a cola) spider....
Sunday, 29 August 2010
INSANE CRUSH SUNDAY
HOLY SHIT - I have an INSANE CRUSH ON THIS GUY - Don Hany
Dang it. He plays a doctor on my new favourite Aussie drama on tele called Offspring - it's sooo cool. Love it. But the doctor on it is almost identical to my ex boyfriend and its making me lose my shit! BIG TIME.
My heart skips beats whenever I see him. I think somewhere in there I will always love him a little bit. But I'm totally in denial. And also because the ex I fell in love with, the one that is identical to the doctor on Offspring, is non existent anymore.
A girl can dream. And perve. And perve.
Holy shit.
Deep breath.
Dang it. He plays a doctor on my new favourite Aussie drama on tele called Offspring - it's sooo cool. Love it. But the doctor on it is almost identical to my ex boyfriend and its making me lose my shit! BIG TIME.
My heart skips beats whenever I see him. I think somewhere in there I will always love him a little bit. But I'm totally in denial. And also because the ex I fell in love with, the one that is identical to the doctor on Offspring, is non existent anymore.
A girl can dream. And perve. And perve.
Holy shit.
Deep breath.
Morning Confession
I confess to the following (WARNING THIS MAY BE TOO MUCH INFO FOR SOME):
1. I sleep in the nude mostly; and
2. I do nudie runs to the bathroom in the night.
Who could be bothered with putting the dressing gown on - it's dark for shits sake! No one is around, no one can see. It's a quick three step dash to the bathroom. What's the harm in it?
Don't tell Flatty, he'd prolly have a heart attack.
1. I sleep in the nude mostly; and
2. I do nudie runs to the bathroom in the night.
Who could be bothered with putting the dressing gown on - it's dark for shits sake! No one is around, no one can see. It's a quick three step dash to the bathroom. What's the harm in it?
Don't tell Flatty, he'd prolly have a heart attack.
Saturday, 28 August 2010
Notes about living with Boys
1. get used to socks and jocks flung across every available surface (clean ones, thank god)
2. Boys never wipe down benches. Sure flatty will pack or empty the dishwasher but will leave food crumbs and crap all over the kitchen bench! I don't get it! It's a finishing touch to the cleaning, no?
3. The fridge is constantly chocked full of the enemy - CARBS. Pastas, breads, beers....
4. Random female callers....yes. I thought the wall would collapse on me the other night - gross.
5. Football on the tv - ALL. THE. TIME. Normally accompanied by loud sporadic outbursts, annoying when you're trying to have a mid afternoon hangover nap.
2. Boys never wipe down benches. Sure flatty will pack or empty the dishwasher but will leave food crumbs and crap all over the kitchen bench! I don't get it! It's a finishing touch to the cleaning, no?
3. The fridge is constantly chocked full of the enemy - CARBS. Pastas, breads, beers....
4. Random female callers....yes. I thought the wall would collapse on me the other night - gross.
5. Football on the tv - ALL. THE. TIME. Normally accompanied by loud sporadic outbursts, annoying when you're trying to have a mid afternoon hangover nap.
Thursday, 26 August 2010
Twilight at Sandgate
Sorry you guys, no vampires. Just a particularly amazing sunset at one of my fave places to walk and rejuvenate, and now take photos... Enjoy.
Wednesday, 25 August 2010
Virgin Run
This is my virgin run with my new whiz bang camera. Very Brisbane. Very Aussie. I'm learning.
Noodle (Grandad said she's just like me as she has freckles on her nose)
Cobby trimming the bogan
Kumquat
Aussie
Aussie-er
City Cat Sunset
Little Brisbane
7:34pm
Ok ok, so my earlier reaction may have been a bit hasty.
Having settled down and garnered the grounding words of wisdom from three of the most important people in my life I have decided to hear out the gentleman in question based on, again, a few key facts that have already been divulged by said gentleman.
Yes, I will be at my glam-est self.
Yes, I will go to the exceptionally expensive restaurant and order the finest champagne.
And yes, I am going to seek the truth and then lay down the law as I see it.
After that, it's his issue.
Having settled down and garnered the grounding words of wisdom from three of the most important people in my life I have decided to hear out the gentleman in question based on, again, a few key facts that have already been divulged by said gentleman.
Yes, I will be at my glam-est self.
Yes, I will go to the exceptionally expensive restaurant and order the finest champagne.
And yes, I am going to seek the truth and then lay down the law as I see it.
After that, it's his issue.
Tuesday, 24 August 2010
Caveat Emptor
I am apparently having an affair with a married man.
At least, that's what the latest gossip around the camp fire is.
He has adamantly informed me that the split from his wife is amicable, and very real indeed.
I didn't realise just how 'amicable' it continues to be.
Based on a few key pieces of information I can now say that I don't think there is a split happening at all, except for that familiar splicing feeling in my heart that heralds yet another failed attempt at companionship.
I must admit to having doubts on this one. They have been gnawing at the back of mind for a little while. I've been holding back because of them and now I'm grateful that I listened. Thank you Gut!
As an aside though, I can't help but feel a little coquettish. A vixen in the night. Maybe, just perhaps, if I was in a different, bigger city, and the man was, well, the same man, I would be tempted to continue this tryst until I got bored and moved onto the next.
Un/fortunately, I have too much of a conscience, one too many morals and too little degrees of separation in this city to allow it.
At the risk of this scenario becoming a scene from a crappy reality tv show I really must call him on it.
But how? Do I go on our next planned date where I order the most expensive champagne on the menu then dramatically splash it in his face, flick my hair and stalk out? Or, do I confront him now, ask how his wife is perhaps? The Drama queen in me craves the former.
It remains to be seen, but one thing is for dang sure: the behaviour of men never ceases to amaze me.
SCARLET WOMAN signing out.
*Disclaimer: all purported facts are yet to be checked directly with the source. Or does that even matter?
At least, that's what the latest gossip around the camp fire is.
He has adamantly informed me that the split from his wife is amicable, and very real indeed.
I didn't realise just how 'amicable' it continues to be.
Based on a few key pieces of information I can now say that I don't think there is a split happening at all, except for that familiar splicing feeling in my heart that heralds yet another failed attempt at companionship.
I must admit to having doubts on this one. They have been gnawing at the back of mind for a little while. I've been holding back because of them and now I'm grateful that I listened. Thank you Gut!
As an aside though, I can't help but feel a little coquettish. A vixen in the night. Maybe, just perhaps, if I was in a different, bigger city, and the man was, well, the same man, I would be tempted to continue this tryst until I got bored and moved onto the next.
Un/fortunately, I have too much of a conscience, one too many morals and too little degrees of separation in this city to allow it.
At the risk of this scenario becoming a scene from a crappy reality tv show I really must call him on it.
But how? Do I go on our next planned date where I order the most expensive champagne on the menu then dramatically splash it in his face, flick my hair and stalk out? Or, do I confront him now, ask how his wife is perhaps? The Drama queen in me craves the former.
It remains to be seen, but one thing is for dang sure: the behaviour of men never ceases to amaze me.
SCARLET WOMAN signing out.
*Disclaimer: all purported facts are yet to be checked directly with the source. Or does that even matter?
Monday, 23 August 2010
9:48pm
Dear Blog,
I know I've been resoundingly slack, but I promise I will write on you in the morning.
I have a bunch of juicy stories, freshly squeezed from "Amazing August" that are just dying to get typed and shared.
Hang tight.
LOVE
I know I've been resoundingly slack, but I promise I will write on you in the morning.
I have a bunch of juicy stories, freshly squeezed from "Amazing August" that are just dying to get typed and shared.
Hang tight.
LOVE
Friday, 13 August 2010
3:14pm
For tonight I’m wearing a gorgeous black dress. It doesn’t sound too exciting but I can assure you it’s beautiful.
It has bat wing sleeves and a deep V front that goes down to about my sternum, then nipped in at the waist, then flows slightly to the knee but with a split up the middle of the front.
It is black chiffon material but is made quite heavy as it’s covered in tiny black beads that shimmer softly when I move. A very feminine version of a chain of armour.
It’s a delicate but beautiful twist on a plain black dress and I love wearing it.
Black heels.
Leather jacket.
Swept back hair.
Eye make-up.
Lights camera action.
It has bat wing sleeves and a deep V front that goes down to about my sternum, then nipped in at the waist, then flows slightly to the knee but with a split up the middle of the front.
It is black chiffon material but is made quite heavy as it’s covered in tiny black beads that shimmer softly when I move. A very feminine version of a chain of armour.
It’s a delicate but beautiful twist on a plain black dress and I love wearing it.
Black heels.
Leather jacket.
Swept back hair.
Eye make-up.
Lights camera action.
Precision polish
You guys I just did my nails in the work dunny. If it was a nude colour I would do it this afternoon. But for this evening I've chosen to go with a deep blood red. I don't think its even a red - more of a burgundy but its my fave colour and has been for a good three years. "Ruby Fruit" by Max Factor.
So, the application of this colour takes skill. As does typing with freshly painted nails (!).
I needed time. There are a few spills here and there and I was just thinking I'd love to have a precision tool that 'mops' up the spills onto my skin. I have cotton tips but I really need something a little sharper than that with a cotton tip dipped in remover.
Like if my cuticle pusher was actually a cotton tip so I could slide in and 'delete' the bits I don't want.
All in all I think I did quite well though....
I needed time. There are a few spills here and there and I was just thinking I'd love to have a precision tool that 'mops' up the spills onto my skin. I have cotton tips but I really need something a little sharper than that with a cotton tip dipped in remover.
Like if my cuticle pusher was actually a cotton tip so I could slide in and 'delete' the bits I don't want.
All in all I think I did quite well though....
D - Day
Date Day.
I was all fidgety at meditation again last night. Spent the duration not going into my higher self but dreaming instead about outfits and witty remarks I would make on my date tonight.
Woke up this morning with a bloody RASH on my face. A tiny cluster of white heads that made me shit myself (I know, a lot of bodily functions happening right now - did someone say FIGHT OR FLIGHT!?). I NEVER get rashes!!?? It's an indication of how freaked out I've been all week.
So what to do? How to treat it? On consulting mum she said to hang up immediately and get to the chemist to get some drying medication. "And some bloody Rescue Remedy darling".
Thankfully, in the span of the call and donning my coat the rash had gone down considerably and now is but a mere red blotch on my face. Totally manageable. I am a master of disguise on the cosmetics front.
Half a bottle of rescue remedy down.
My receptionist took pity on my frazzled nerves and gave me an antihistamine for the rash.
It's 10:50am.
Hhhhhhhhhhh *deep breath*
I was all fidgety at meditation again last night. Spent the duration not going into my higher self but dreaming instead about outfits and witty remarks I would make on my date tonight.
So what to do? How to treat it? On consulting mum she said to hang up immediately and get to the chemist to get some drying medication. "And some bloody Rescue Remedy darling".
Thankfully, in the span of the call and donning my coat the rash had gone down considerably and now is but a mere red blotch on my face. Totally manageable. I am a master of disguise on the cosmetics front.
Half a bottle of rescue remedy down.
My receptionist took pity on my frazzled nerves and gave me an antihistamine for the rash.
It's 10:50am.
Hhhhhhhhhhh *deep breath*
Thursday, 12 August 2010
Heat wave
Ok, I'm not sure of the reason, but I am sweating up a damn storm over here.
It could be attributed to any one of the following:
1. I just got back from a walk in the mall, in heels, in a blazer and trouzers, and I walked all the way up to the Myer centre and back (read long way);
2. The ambient temperature of our office is dropping and rising in 3 minute intervals - normally I bitch about how cold it is but it's so stuffy right now it's stifling my already wavering will to work;
3. Brisbane doesn't really have a winter per say, just some days are cooler than others. It is easily a spring day outside; or
4. I'm nervous about my grown-up-girl date tomorrow night....(I've sent in the Cavalry - my friend Nadsie - to dig some dirt before tomorrow!).
I probably have to expand on point 4 a little. I don't generally get this nervous, nor do I sweat for that matter, before a date. The reason is because the gentleman friend and I have known each other for 14 years. That's right, I met the guy when I was 14 and have had a massive crush on him ever since. I'm not sure what it is about him, a certain je ne se qoi (Mama L - spelling?) and now all of a sudden we are both adults (as opposed to me being a child) and we have both found ourselves single and interested.
It's a massive turn up for the books and I may loose my shit at any moment. Thankfully I have a sauna and sugar scrub tonight followed by a much needed meditation session to calm the fuck down.
It could be attributed to any one of the following:
1. I just got back from a walk in the mall, in heels, in a blazer and trouzers, and I walked all the way up to the Myer centre and back (read long way);
2. The ambient temperature of our office is dropping and rising in 3 minute intervals - normally I bitch about how cold it is but it's so stuffy right now it's stifling my already wavering will to work;
3. Brisbane doesn't really have a winter per say, just some days are cooler than others. It is easily a spring day outside; or
4. I'm nervous about my grown-up-girl date tomorrow night....(I've sent in the Cavalry - my friend Nadsie - to dig some dirt before tomorrow!).
I probably have to expand on point 4 a little. I don't generally get this nervous, nor do I sweat for that matter, before a date. The reason is because the gentleman friend and I have known each other for 14 years. That's right, I met the guy when I was 14 and have had a massive crush on him ever since. I'm not sure what it is about him, a certain je ne se qoi (Mama L - spelling?) and now all of a sudden we are both adults (as opposed to me being a child) and we have both found ourselves single and interested.
It's a massive turn up for the books and I may loose my shit at any moment. Thankfully I have a sauna and sugar scrub tonight followed by a much needed meditation session to calm the fuck down.
Wednesday, 11 August 2010
Oh my goodness, I've just realised I haven't blogged for FOUR WHOLE DAYS. I've been lost in a haze of parties and date planning!
It's fair to say that things have escalated quite abruptly on a number of fronts but most importantly on the dating front.
I am pleased to announce I am being taken on a full blown, grown up dinner date here on Friday night, the first in 5 long months! Well at least the first one I'm remotely excited about.
I say 'grown up' because the gentleman who has requested my company is just that - grown up. 17 years more grown up than I am to be exact. And I can't wait.
I adore being taken on proper dates. 'Proper' meaning there is a reservation made at a quality restaurant for a time that is set a week in advance at a minimum.
I'm a planner. The funnest part about dating (almost) is the planning for it I think.
Date Prep mode for me means:
1. Outfit selection which usually involves me giving a fashion parade for mum/sister/flatty, analysing both practicality and suitability for the venue/man
2. Hair do selection: up or down? Natural or styled?
3. Mini detoxing on fruit and really light meals during the week to ensure a flat stomach and clear skin by Friday
4. 'Landscaping' if the occasion calls for it
5. Sauna, sugar scrub and facial on Thursday
6. Mani/pedi also Thursday
7. Friday - READY SET GO!
Anticipation energy. Whether there is going to be a spark or not. Wild flirting. Nice wine.
This age difference is a first for me. I'm ridiculously curious to see how it all pans out.
It's fair to say that things have escalated quite abruptly on a number of fronts but most importantly on the dating front.
I am pleased to announce I am being taken on a full blown, grown up dinner date here on Friday night, the first in 5 long months! Well at least the first one I'm remotely excited about.
I say 'grown up' because the gentleman who has requested my company is just that - grown up. 17 years more grown up than I am to be exact. And I can't wait.
I adore being taken on proper dates. 'Proper' meaning there is a reservation made at a quality restaurant for a time that is set a week in advance at a minimum.
I'm a planner. The funnest part about dating (almost) is the planning for it I think.
Date Prep mode for me means:
1. Outfit selection which usually involves me giving a fashion parade for mum/sister/flatty, analysing both practicality and suitability for the venue/man
2. Hair do selection: up or down? Natural or styled?
3. Mini detoxing on fruit and really light meals during the week to ensure a flat stomach and clear skin by Friday
4. 'Landscaping' if the occasion calls for it
5. Sauna, sugar scrub and facial on Thursday
6. Mani/pedi also Thursday
7. Friday - READY SET GO!
Anticipation energy. Whether there is going to be a spark or not. Wild flirting. Nice wine.
This age difference is a first for me. I'm ridiculously curious to see how it all pans out.
Friday, 6 August 2010
Camera!!!!
I picked up my camy today and I'm beside myself. This is a picture of part of my work space.
It's a good Friday.
Thursday, 5 August 2010
Scent-sational
One of the things I'm discovering about myself in my transformation journey is that I am a sensory being. One of my superhero powers is a hyper sensitive sense of smell.
Last night at meditation someone smelt so wonderful, filling the room with a clean, shower emollient smell and I inhaled it pleasurably.
A scent creates a scene in my mind. Or takes me back, invoking long lost memory. Like the smell of purple lantana or mown grass, or a fashion show.
Theatre productions always have a certain smell. I have a conspiracy theory that prior to a show a scent is omitted to invoke a certain emotion in the audience. Or maybe its just the graceful grey-hair-swept-back-into-a-french-chignon woman sitting next to you.
I have a penchant for man-fumes in particular. I love the way men smell. Aftershave, leather, scotch, cigars, engine grease, board rooms.
For the longest time I coveted Chanel Egoiste, an olfactory ecstasy for me. It would leave me giddy, faint, whenever the base notes swaggered into range. I made the mistake of giving it to a man I thought would be mine forever and now when I detect the familiar fragrance my heart squeezes slightly for the spot at the nape of his neck, his warm skin drenched in it; for what was and what could have been and what is clearly nothingness now.
*Sniff*
Last night at meditation someone smelt so wonderful, filling the room with a clean, shower emollient smell and I inhaled it pleasurably.
A scent creates a scene in my mind. Or takes me back, invoking long lost memory. Like the smell of purple lantana or mown grass, or a fashion show.
Theatre productions always have a certain smell. I have a conspiracy theory that prior to a show a scent is omitted to invoke a certain emotion in the audience. Or maybe its just the graceful grey-hair-swept-back-into-a-french-chignon woman sitting next to you.
I have a penchant for man-fumes in particular. I love the way men smell. Aftershave, leather, scotch, cigars, engine grease, board rooms.
I actually wear man-fumes because I want the scent to engulf me like a big bear hug all day long. They are a lot stronger, fresh, masculine. Maybe its my inner male needing satisfaction, or maybe I just crave a man, or five, in my life.
I wear duality fumes from Hermes. Hermes Voyage is my scent du jour. Hermes Jardin Sur Le Nil as well. Or just pure man - YSL L'Homme or Penhaligon's Opus 1870 (from a certain Golden Jew).For the longest time I coveted Chanel Egoiste, an olfactory ecstasy for me. It would leave me giddy, faint, whenever the base notes swaggered into range. I made the mistake of giving it to a man I thought would be mine forever and now when I detect the familiar fragrance my heart squeezes slightly for the spot at the nape of his neck, his warm skin drenched in it; for what was and what could have been and what is clearly nothingness now.
*Sniff*
Tuesday, 3 August 2010
Jew Talkin to me?
I heard from the Jew today. And then I fell off my chair.
I honestly believed that the guy was so pissed off with me he'd deleted me from hisfacebook life.
But no, apparently our friendship is alive and well. We conversed back and forwards for about an hour and honestly it did make my day.
There is nothing worse than thinking there is someone in this world that has completely rejected you and possibly hates your guts. Of course, this is my theatrical self at her best.
Turns out he's been in China for two weeks starting a cosmetics company. Yes.
Dear Jew,
It was great to hear from you today. I know the only reason for your impromptu text was because you are holed up in a hotel room in Beijing on that rare occasion when you are forced to be alone with yourself and can't stand it. Also you must have broken up with whatever you have been seeing.
Whatever the reason, I'm glad we can be friends.
I guess.
I honestly believed that the guy was so pissed off with me he'd deleted me from his
But no, apparently our friendship is alive and well. We conversed back and forwards for about an hour and honestly it did make my day.
There is nothing worse than thinking there is someone in this world that has completely rejected you and possibly hates your guts. Of course, this is my theatrical self at her best.
Turns out he's been in China for two weeks starting a cosmetics company. Yes.
Dear Jew,
It was great to hear from you today. I know the only reason for your impromptu text was because you are holed up in a hotel room in Beijing on that rare occasion when you are forced to be alone with yourself and can't stand it. Also you must have broken up with whatever you have been seeing.
Whatever the reason, I'm glad we can be friends.
I guess.
Monday, 2 August 2010
Day 1 - Amazing August Campaign
Day 1 was a success.
1. fresh fruit and veggies
2. noni juice
3. golf lesson
4. post writing
5. successful contract negotiation with major OEM
6. possible golf date with handsome Englishman
That's a big 10 - 4.
1. fresh fruit and veggies
2. noni juice
3. golf lesson
4. post writing
5. successful contract negotiation with major OEM
6. possible golf date with handsome Englishman
That's a big 10 - 4.
Golf Lesson #1
I thought I was swinging well. Then the pro taught me how to swing properly. It rocked my world. The twist of the core was so much easier, I didn't need much strength in my arms at all and I was thwacking the ball for ages! Very satisfying.
I'm feeling like I've had a massive workout. Its amazing how quickly fatigue sets in and affects your technique. Likely will be sore tomorrow. In a good way.
I also have a golf date this Saturday morning with a lovely Englishman I befriended, or maybe he befriended me, at St Lucia golf course.
Heads!!
I'm feeling like I've had a massive workout. Its amazing how quickly fatigue sets in and affects your technique. Likely will be sore tomorrow. In a good way.
I also have a golf date this Saturday morning with a lovely Englishman I befriended, or maybe he befriended me, at St Lucia golf course.
Heads!!
Amazing August
August has gotten off to an amazing start weather wise which gives me inspiration to get my act together too. Enough of misery guts LJ!
I'm devoting the whole of August starting today to get fit, be healthy, have fun, find new friends, hang out with old friends, enjoy Brisbane and tick off a few of my 6 month plan pony goals.
It's going to be hectic. But it feels good to make the decision to do these things; something measurable.
I am completely booked out this week for golf lessons, infrared saunas, dinners and rest. I've started today with a super healthy carrot and celery juice, apple, crudites and green tea.
And so it begins.
I'm devoting the whole of August starting today to get fit, be healthy, have fun, find new friends, hang out with old friends, enjoy Brisbane and tick off a few of my 6 month plan pony goals.
It's going to be hectic. But it feels good to make the decision to do these things; something measurable.
I am completely booked out this week for golf lessons, infrared saunas, dinners and rest. I've started today with a super healthy carrot and celery juice, apple, crudites and green tea.
And so it begins.
Sunday, 1 August 2010
How Jew Been?
I made the mistake of sending a text message to my ex boyfriend. It wasn't a sob story, I just wanted him to know I was thinking of him and that it was strange, after all this time.
No response.
I do think about the Jew quite a bit unfortunately. On days where I am feeling nostalgic, or when I am hating on my current life situation (sadly too frequent) I day dream about him and perch him up on his pedestal.
This is my mind playing tricks on me.
The Golden Jew and I had a love affair in London, that stretched across to Italy, over the oceans to Australia, then ended.
It took me a year to warm to him. When I finally did I fell hard.
Not since the Fuckwit had I felt a fusion like this. It was heady. We were a powerful combination. Both ambitious, both competitive, both intellectual, both sensual, both fragile underneath.
He was quick witted, pragmatic, energetic and passionate. Tall, gangly, olive arabian skin, deep green eyes with brown specs. I fell in love in those eyes.
And he was an intense British Iraqi Jew.
I blame the positioning of continents and our lineage on our separation, but I know it was more than that. It was an obstacle course of religion, race, red tape and reality.
Love is simple. The world is not.
I know he would love it that I'm writing about him and that I still ponder our affair; his ego is almost as big as mine. Would I revisit that chapter? In a heart beat.
But there were flaws. My mind harvests the good memories and feelings from the whole field of our time together and sneakily neglects to acknowledge the weedy reality for what it was.
In the light of day he was a greedy, hardcore, egomaniacal asshole, doing dodgy ass deals, fickle and self obsessed.
In many ways I am grateful for having escaped yet another epic romance disaster. But I do miss those quiet times we shared together, just the Jew and me. Incredibly tender moments where our souls spoke to one another.
It seems so far away now; did it even happen?
No response.
I do think about the Jew quite a bit unfortunately. On days where I am feeling nostalgic, or when I am hating on my current life situation (sadly too frequent) I day dream about him and perch him up on his pedestal.
This is my mind playing tricks on me.
The Golden Jew and I had a love affair in London, that stretched across to Italy, over the oceans to Australia, then ended.
It took me a year to warm to him. When I finally did I fell hard.
Not since the Fuckwit had I felt a fusion like this. It was heady. We were a powerful combination. Both ambitious, both competitive, both intellectual, both sensual, both fragile underneath.
He was quick witted, pragmatic, energetic and passionate. Tall, gangly, olive arabian skin, deep green eyes with brown specs. I fell in love in those eyes.
And he was an intense British Iraqi Jew.
I blame the positioning of continents and our lineage on our separation, but I know it was more than that. It was an obstacle course of religion, race, red tape and reality.
Love is simple. The world is not.
I know he would love it that I'm writing about him and that I still ponder our affair; his ego is almost as big as mine. Would I revisit that chapter? In a heart beat.
But there were flaws. My mind harvests the good memories and feelings from the whole field of our time together and sneakily neglects to acknowledge the weedy reality for what it was.
In the light of day he was a greedy, hardcore, egomaniacal asshole, doing dodgy ass deals, fickle and self obsessed.
In many ways I am grateful for having escaped yet another epic romance disaster. But I do miss those quiet times we shared together, just the Jew and me. Incredibly tender moments where our souls spoke to one another.
It seems so far away now; did it even happen?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)