Sunday in script

I was excited this morning; a true sense of anticipation. It was a beautiful blue sky outside and I played Feist tunes while I drank my green tea and painted my toenails in watermelon pink.

I met the Knight (the Sherpa's Brother) under a tree in New Farm park at 10:30am, as planned, he with his skateboard, me with my rad wheels. I unfurled my patchwork quilt and we sat and began what I hope will be the first of many sessions in awareness training.

The concepts are difficult, the practicing even harder. How do you describe the feeling of the expansion of your energy? How do you guide someone to feel or sense something that they've never been able to identify before? How do you explain colour to a blind person? How do you describe a sensation like hot or cold? This is what the Knight is attempting to show me. It is no small task.

Most importantly the Knight is explaining the importance of letting go of trying to control everything as it creates blockages. This more than anything is a big learning for me. Recently I've been receiving a lot of messages from the universe telling me to quit trying to control things. The very act of trying means that I am unsuccessful in that quest to begin with. And, to a large extent I believe that there is a grand plan for each of us and the universe will put us on our path when we relax and let the flow of life wash over us.

I know it sounds slightly mental but this is self actualisation in written form.

The Knight is an 80 year old in a 24 year old's body, and it's strange to see the two in action.

We spent the entire day together. Smelling roses, climbing trees (he did the climbing, those trees in New Farm are bloody huuuuge) eating fish and chips, chatting, laughing at crazy children, seeking shelter from the afternoon rain and smiling.

It was a sumptuous day with a stranger friend.

Sherpa

As mentioned I've been going to see a guy. Not just any old guy but a seriously gifted and amazing guy, about my new journey into myself. Actually, the journey really started with a visit to him who I call my Sherpa. He is a smaller guy, with almost elvish qualities; a lightness to his step, innate calmness and vivid, knowing, crystal blue eyes.

Initially I thought I was going for a run of the mill massage with a bit of a phsycology session of talking and analyzing and that was about it. But what I got was so much more; the word "Hope" springs to mind.

For my first session with the Sherpa we talked for over an hour yet it felt like such a brief moment. We touched on some fairly deep issues during that time but what was so poignant for me was that he picked up on precisely where my thought patterns were and conversed with me on that same level so that everything made sense. I was so moved and felt strangely at ease in his presence. Those who know me well understand that it takes a while for me to get to know someone new, to open up and truly be myself around them so this was a novel experience for me, on many levels.

The second session with the Sherpa was again an incredible awakening. We did "body work" and for those who have never heard that term before I completely sympathise (there is a whole world out there devoted to body work in all different forms of therapies that I have yet to discover). Essentially the Sherpa kneeded the blockages in my body that were holding tension and bad energy. Now I'm not going to go into the theory of this for this post but lets just say I'm only just beginning to realise how my body truly works and how destructive I've actually been to it over the years.

I left this session feeling tingly and teary. The massage had dredged up and released blocked energy that had been lying dormant, needing an escape for an incalculable time. And I felt releif. That I've found a way to understand myself that makes sense to me, that I believe in. That I've found someone who understands me too and could finally begin to guide me through myself, to myself (hense the name Sherpa).

For the last week suceeding my second session I feel a little lighter. I'm noticing subtle changes in my body, I no longer feel bloated and I think I've lost a kilo or two without even being aware of it. I'm not craving cigarettes and I don't get the urge to binge on chokkie cake very five minutes. There are subtle changes in the way I think and feel too. I am watching my thought patterns, keeping tabs on them and when I am dedicated I turn my thinking around to a positive affirmation.

Session three is happening tonight and I am so looking forward to some more cleansing.